This Used Chair Requires Three References and a Personal Statement
Iris has £35, a car and a friend coming to dinner on Friday. Oren would like her to say a little more about the chair.
IKEA's UK resale instructions describe listing an item, arranging collection and receiving payment. The following seller, on a separate marketplace, would like to know a little more about where his chair is going.
Oak chair. £35. Right home essential.
Solid wood. Small mark on seat, visible in photograph four. Good condition for its age and experience.
This has been my reading chair for seven years. I have made a difficult decision to let it move on, and I would appreciate considered inquiries. Please include a short personal statement and three references. Collection only, subject to mutual fit.
No dealers. If collecting on someone else's behalf, I will need to meet the person who will be sitting.
Oren Bexley. Listing renewed eleven times.
Monday, 9:12 a.m. — Iris Hume
Hello. I'd like the chair. I can collect on Thursday at six. I work nearby and have a car.
Monday, 10:03 a.m. — Oren
Hello Iris. Thank you for introducing yourself. Before we get into cars, could you tell me what drew you to this particular chair? The dimensions are in the listing, so there's no need to cover those again.
Monday, 10:17 a.m. — Iris
I like it, and it's the right size for my kitchen. A friend is coming for dinner on Friday. At the moment one of us would have to sit on the folding stool.
Monday, 12:46 p.m. — Oren
That is useful context. It has not previously been a dining chair. I wrote much of a novel in it, and it has become accustomed to a certain kind of quiet.
I'm open to a change of direction, but could you attach a floor plan showing where it would sit? Please identify the existing chairs. A photograph of each would help me understand the company.
Monday, 1:02 p.m. — Iris
I've sent a picture of the kitchen. It would go where the stool is.
Monday, 4:10 p.m. — Oren
Could you say a little more about why the stool is leaving?
I notice there is a mug directly on the table. I appreciate that people have different approaches. We might want to establish whether ours are compatible before anyone drives anywhere.
The references should ideally know you in a domestic capacity. I'm interested in what happens after the first few weeks, when a chair is no longer new to you.
Tuesday, 8:31 a.m. — Iris
My former flatmate, my sister and the friend who's coming on Friday have agreed. Their details are attached.
The stool isn't leaving. It folds up.
Tuesday, 11:26 a.m. — Oren
Your sister has replied, “She'll look after it.” Encouraging, though I'd hoped for an example.
I haven't received your personal statement. Two hundred words is enough. I'm not looking for a polished performance; I want to understand the place you are making for the chair in your life. Please avoid repeating the floor plan.
Tuesday, 12:08 p.m. — Iris
I intend to sit on it. Friends will also sit on it. If it gets dusty, I'll dust it. I won't paint it.
I haven't got two hundred words. I have got £35 and can come on Thursday.
Tuesday, 3:44 p.m. — Oren
The chair would like to meet you. I can make Wednesday at six.
Wednesday, 6:00 p.m. — Notes from the interview
OREN: The mark on the seat is from the summer I finished my first draft. I put a cup down without thinking. I mention this because someone previously asked whether it could be sanded out.
IRIS: The mark doesn't bother me.
OREN: It's important to understand why it's there.
CHAIR: Is that a window beside the table?
IRIS: Yes. It gets sun in the afternoon.
CHAIR: Would I go there?
IRIS: That's the plan.
OREN: We should discuss direct sunlight.
CHAIR: I would like some.
Thursday, 9:14 a.m. — Oren
I think yesterday went well. There are a few things still to settle. I'd like a photograph once it is in position, and perhaps another after three months. I don't envisage regular visits, although it would be good to know I could drop in.
If you decide to part with it, I would expect to be consulted first. We can keep this informal. I've attached a short agreement.
Thursday, 9:19 a.m. — Chair
Iris, six is fine. The front door is narrow but I know how to get through it. I'll be ready.
Oren, I've accepted her offer. You don't need to visit.
Thursday, 9:37 a.m. — Oren
We haven't discussed this. I had understood that I would remain involved. The whole point was to find someone who respected your history.
Thursday, 9:40 a.m. — Chair
She has seen the mark.
Friday, 8:15 a.m. — New listing
Four felt chair pads. Used. Plenty of life left. £2.
Would prefer them to stay together. Please describe the floor.
Factual-versus-fiction note: IKEA's linked resale instructions are real. This listing, marketplace, people, messages, speaking chair and seller requirements are invented; they are not IKEA policy or an actual transaction.
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